Relative Values: Lee Ryan and his mother, Sheila

(Quelle: Sunday Times mag)
Lee Ryan, singer, and his mother, Sheila, hairdresser. Interview: Lauren St John
Lee Ryan, 20, became famous three years ago as a singer with the multi-platinum-selling boy band Blue.

He and his sister, Gemma, 22, were brought up by their mother, Sheila, 45, a hairdresser, after she left his

father and moved into a shelter for the homeless. Sheila and Lee live in southeast London.
Blue are currently on a world tour. Their single Breathe Easy, written by Lee, is released on March 22.
 

SHEILA: When Lee was born and they said, "It's a boy!" I went: "What am I going to do with a little boy?" My whole train of thought was that I was having a girl. So they didn't give him to me straight away. They thought I'd rejected him. They walked out of the room and I remember going over to the crib and looking at him as if he was an alien. I was so shocked. I picked him up and from that second I thought: "Oh, my God, I've got a boy!" And that feeling never left me. It was like a surprise gift from God. That's how I'll always view it. Lee was a joy. From a really young age, I'd walk into his room and a smile would go from ear to ear and he'd go: "Hello, Mum." He still does it now. We were a very musical family. Lee's dad wasn't around much, so it was always just Lee, Gemma and I. Most people read to their children but I never did, because I have the love in my soul for music. The record would go on and I'd get the pots and pans out so they could play drums. We'd sing along to Whitney Houston, Mike and the Mechanics, old-school stuff. From when Lee was three or four, he was making up songs. When he was 12, I took him out of school. He was very dyslexic. We knew that when he was five. He was the worst case of dyslexia that they'd seen in the Bexley borough. They said he had total word-blindness. He still doesn't remember the months of the year. I just laugh about it. I shouldn't. I should sit him down and say, "These are the months," but I don't know that he'd take it in. And yet he's one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. We had no money. When Lee was five, I'd left his father. It was traumatic, to say the least, but it was the best thing I ever did. Although we went with nothing, we built our own future and went on to do really well. Lee had very little contact with his father — intermittent, but nothing sustained. We had to face things on our own, and we were in homeless accommodation. I worked until 10pm and Gemma and Lee went with me. I'd knock on people's doors and say: "My name's Sheila, I'm a hairdresser. Can I do your hair, please?" Lee went to three drama schools and was kicked out of all of them. When Sylvia Young ousted him, he was on the floor. I asked him what was wrong and he told me to shut up. Now, he'd never done that. My heart broke, but I knew he was in pain. We walked into a pub and I said: "Do you want a beer?" He was 14. I'd be slated for that, wouldn't I? He said, "Yes, please," and I got him a shandy. I said: "Now, what's wrong?" And he burst out crying. He said: "I'm so sorry for the way I've behaved, but I'm worth nothing, Mum. I'm useless." I said: "I don't ever want to hear you say that again. We're a team. If you can keep yourself together, you will go on to fly, but you have to trust me. Do you trust me?" He said: "Yes." The day Lee was due to sign with Virgin, our cat went missing. I was hanging the washing out and suddenly I saw Rocky lying dead on the patio. I screamed and Lee came running out. It was awful. I was late for work, so Lee goes out to the garden, buries Rocky, puts the gold cross and chain I bought him in the grave, puts the holy water the Bishop of Southwark used to bless my salons on top, does a proper ceremony and then goes to Virgin. When I came back I said: "Did you bury the cat?" He said: "Yes, I did." Then I said: "Oh, what happened today?" And he says: "I got a record contract." And we were both screaming and laughing. That is so the Ryan household. It was very surreal when Blue became successful. It was like it was happening to someone else. He had his audition with Virgin on a Saturday and got the record deal on Sunday. It happened so fast, we didn't have time to get excited. I wasn't happy when he got a Porsche. All I could think about was James Dean. The night Lee was arrested for drink-driving, I'd said to him, "Just get a cab," because he was going to a club. He said: "I won't be driving, Mum." He's ever so sensible, but there's that 5% that isn't. So he did what he did and he paid for it. But, you know, I was so pleased. The few weeks before, I felt him getting faster and faster in that car, and it's a horrible mean machine. I thought I was going to see my son in a coffin. The night Lee moved into his own flat, he rang me three times and told me what he was eating, that he was having a bath and had clean towels, that he'd filled the freezer. The next day he rang and said: "I can't stand it, I wanna come home." But everything about children is knowing when to let go. He can come to me at any time and I can go to him. We've got a very special relationship. Having said that, every now and then I miss him, and it catches me and I cry. That doesn't mean I have to talk to him every day, but I miss him. LEE: My earliest memories of my mum are just of her working so hard all the time. She was a single parent with nothing, striving for everything. My mum could have sat on her arse and collected benefits, but she didn't. She went out and did stuff that was quite demeaning. She'd go up to people's houses and say: "Can I cut your hair?" It was a rough area, as well — it was dangerous. People would go schizo at the door, and we'd be: "What's your problem?" She always gave us music. She sat me down once and made me learn the harmonies to Lionel Richie's Endless Love, and wouldn't let me leave until I knew them. I was about 12. My mum always believed in my singing and acting. She gave me confidence in my voice, and that was something I always had, no matter what. When people told me, "You can't do this, you can't do that," I was like: "Yeah, but I can sing." My mum gave me that. With my dyslexia, she'd help me but she wouldn't have a go at me or tell me how it should be. She let me make my own mistakes. I wanted to learn and do well, but I always got put down, from the beginning of secondary school. I didn't have any confidence, and nobody gave me confidence either. That's why I loved art, because it was so much more free and creative. There were no boundaries. When I got into Blue, it happened so fast I didn't have time to celebrate. I might have had a glass of champagne with my mum and my sister. I'm not one for big celebrations. I celebrate life every day. I've always been the same. I miss living at home. I don't think I'm really ready to live on my own yet. That's why my mum has her own room in my flat. I like chilling with my mum. When I'm writing songs, she always gets involved. She'll say: "What about this?" She's the one who got me into writing. She wrote poems, but I never used to write or read. I just hated it. I still don't read. One day I was stressed and she said: "Write your thoughts on paper. It's quite relaxing." So I started writing, and then when Eminem came out, he inspired me too. I had a lot of aggression in me, so it was good to relieve it. I just turned it into poetry about life. And out of that, I've written nearly 60 songs. Everything I am today is down to my mum. She is the first person I call if I'm in trouble. She's not someone who'll kick off if I tell her. She'll just be like: "Oh, right. You idiot." She knows that I know what I've done wrong. I'm one of these people that if you shout at me, I shut down. My mum's never shouted at me. If I've done something or some situation's gone wrong, she'll always communicate with me instead of talking down to me. When I was caught drink-driving, I think my mum was quite relieved. I did use to drive my Porsche quite manically. Maybe it was a blessing that I was caught. I'm just grateful that no one was hurt. It's my mistake. I don't think anyone's perfect. It's like Jesus said just before they stoned that woman: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." My mum's the greatest example in my life. She sacrificed so much for herself to give me everything, and it dvd me off when my dad makes out that he was always there. He wasn't. My dad's been in the paper saying that he used to take me to football, but he never. My dad was a football coach, but he never bought me a pair of football boots or trainers to play in. I played football in my school shoes. I was sliding about all over the place. A lot of people are taking credit for what my mum did and they all want to jump on the bandwagon. No one was there. My gran chucked a bucket of water over my mum when I was little. We were living with her and she told my mum to go back to her husband. Now the family are so nice. It's "Oh, our famous son!" and all this. Before, I was the black sheep of the family and now I'm Mr F***ing Popular. Most of my family are jealous that my mum has achieved so much when they doubted her so much. They always said: "You shouldn't be putting your kids through this. You should be going back to your husband." And my mum was like: "I can't go back to my husband. I'm afraid to." Everyone thinks it was all gravy back in those days. And now everyone wants to take some glory from me, but the only reason I'm here is because of my mum, not because of anyone else. When Blue first started I said: "Mum, take £1,000 out of my account and go shopping." I absolutely loved that. Not because I was like, "Look at me, I've got all this money!" but because my mum never used to have all the fancy clothes. We didn't have anything.